What does it mean?

So. What is a lunatic? 

By definition:

lu·na·tic            

[loo-nuh-tik] 

noun

1.

an insane person.

2.

a person whose actions and manner are marked by extreme eccentricity or recklessness.

3.

Law. a person legally declared to be of unsound mind and who therefore is not held capable or responsible before the law.

4.

insane; demented; crazy.

5.

characteristic or suggestive of lunacy; wildly or recklessly foolish.

6.

designated for or used by the insane: a lunatic asylum.

7.

gaily or lightheartedly mad, frivolous, eccentric, etc.: She has a lunatic charm that is quite engaging.

 

 Alright, I'll admit it. I'd be concerned with following the diary of someone who was considered "demented, crazy, or recklessly foolish". But let me assure you, in a less than convincing tone I am sure, that I am not someone who has been declared to be unsound of mind. Although, there are times where I certainly question my ultimate sanity. 

 

Most of my life, I have been described as an extreme, passionate, and driven person. This is a description I consider to be accurate, but only to an outsiders view. There are times where I wish I could just SNAPCHAT the inside of my brain...to let one see the struggle, insanity, brilliance, or lunacy that seems to be brewing inside. Now that I am nearing my 29th birthday, it seems an appropriate time to take stock in why and how I became to be the creature I am today. So I suppose this blog is an attempt to figure some of this out. 

 

Let me begin by telling you, the place I am in my life (although financially and physically not my dream)  is one that I am extremely proud to be in. Over the last 5 years of my life I have developed and honed in on skills that allowed me to deal with life in a much better state than in my younger years. 

 

For many years I could not understand the way my mind worked. It was compulsive, jumpy, sketchy, obsessive, and extremely....emotional. Oh boy was I an emotional creature! Granted, I have been through and survived many things in my days (stories for future blogs) but when it came to everyday living I was just downright insane. Now looking back, there was many things contributing to my mental balloon. I had severe hypothyroidism (not diagnosed until I was 26), depression, and now I am exploring the possibility that I was/am ADHD. 

 

Ok, so I am totally not into diagnosing and medicating the crap out of people. Hence part of the reason I am as proud of where I have come from. I have learned the discipline of dealing with my brain through counseling, reason, logic, diet, exercise, and many other small choices. But if you have ever been in a place in your life where a struggle has been SO relevant for SO long, it's nice to feel that there is a possibility of explanation.

I suppose the reason I'm using my first post on this blog as a platform for my personal mental battle is so that you can understand the foundation for the journey that is my life. I want to use this blog as an opportunity to make sense of the things I've experienced, to allow others to know they aren't alone in some of life's greatest jokes, and to inspire...inspire others to make choices and changes that will better themselves and the world around them. I clearly am not a professional writer, and I by no means think I have a great talent for painting beautiful pictures with words. But I have truth, I have experience, and I have a pure passion with all the best intentions. 

 

So here's to the journey I'm about to take. I have no idea where it will lead, but I hope it's one that brings us all a little closer to understanding.

 

Peace out!